RobertLiebowitz.com

During the fall of 1982, literally and figuratively a lifetime ago, i worked as a caretaker for the New York Housing Authority, a job my friend got me. I was not talking to my dad, and my mom was in califormia, and I was, inretrospect, very very lost.

One day, the head caretaker (we raked leaves and stuff, nothing more glamorous), who owned a boat, decided we are going to play hooky, and we all left work, headed to his boat, and fished right under the Verrazzano Bridge. I had never been fishing before, and didn’t catch any. Didn’t matter. We were out there about an hour– Steve and Michael drinking and laughing, and me quietly and without the beer doing the same. We returned to work later that afternoon (to punch out, of course), and went our merry ways.

Twenty six years later, it remains one of my most cherished memories…and I have no idea why.

I was reminded of this day this morning–I now live a stone’s throw from said bridge, and while walking my dog saw the spot where our boat was…all these years later. So much has changed, and yet nothing had changed.

When traveling the upper level of the Verrazzano Bridge, it is like going to Heaven.

Staring at 10 miles of bad road with this team…they are a .500 ballclub, not enough pitching, no timely hitting, no one stepping into the breech…and they didn’t have to be, if one Brian Jerkoff Cashman pulled the obvious trigger and traded for Santana…but no, not needed, we’ve got Carl Pavano and Ken Ikea in Double A throwing shutout innings! The Yankees are saved! The Yankees are saved!

End of an era/error.

While driving to work yesterday, I found myself in traffic behind a late-90s car with North Carolina plates. The plate had one word:

BALANCE

Why does it seem that your customers are the rudest, most self-absorbed, oblivious, dim-witted, shallow drivers out there? What is the reason? The rest of us want to know.

You wanna know whats wrong with the world? Really wanna know?

In the Village this evening, killing time before going to a play on Bank St. I walk down Bleecker, I see a line of about 30 people waiting for something, I figure a bar, a movie star, something I can half explain away. No, none of the above–it was a line to get into Magnolia Bakery–A FUCKING LINE TO BUY A FUCKING CUPCAKE!!!!!! Can you believe it? The world is collapsing onto itself, my brain is turning upside down inside my skull, and 20 somethings think it’s cool to waste 30 minutes of their life a buy a cupcake. I am beside myself…

Foe the record, I NEVER waited to get into a bar in my life…and will NEVER wait on a line to get a freakin cupcake.